Anorexia

No, sir

Not me

Disorder’s not a word

That describes me

 

Why, sir

I have an airtight system

Methodically eating

Envy dipped in despair

 

Calorie count: 10

 

And, sir

I am human

And therefore I may stumble

Retracing my footsteps

To the robust fridge

And I may stand there

Feeling the cold, calorific air

Pores opening, absorbing

Weight

 

Calorie count: 469

 

But, sir

This is no cause for concern

For what goes in

Can come out

And in this lies sizable power

 

And yes, sir

I have made such

A big choice before

I made it

Till my throat was sore

And it hurt to swallow

Till it hurt to be still

 

Calorie count: 0

 

Why, sir

If you say such things

Then you really must not know me

I struggle to love myself

When there’s little to love

If I were to grow bigger

Then I would be compelled to love

All that too

 

And sir,

That is far too heavy

A burden for me

To have to carry

Quite literally

 

Please watch, sir

As drunken nights

That end in the forceful

Purging of drink

Fade into

Lonely nights

Which end in the sorrowful

Purging of weight

 

Dear, sir

I am afraid

My weakness has shown

 

Dear, sir

I am afraid

It is too late for me

To come back

 

Copyright notice:

© Zeinab Hassan Fawaz and Broken Dolls, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

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